Dolls, I have some very sad news for you. This is the very last Tinseltown that you will ever read from the infamous Betsy Skotch. As of May 16, this celeb will be a Cedar Crest Alum, and come September, you will be mourning the loss of this columnist. Let’s make the last one good, shall we?
Further proving that they’re the dumbest people on the face of the earth, Hills stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are honeymooning and filming Heidi’s new music video “Sex Ed…” in Mexico.
In case you haven’t heard, there’s this little bug going around that they’re calling the “Swine Flu.” Apparently, it’s like, fatal, or something like that. So, please, Heidi and Spencer, enjoy your Mexican vacation. Breathe a lot, and breathe deep. And, please, make sure that you really get into the local’s faces as they’re speaking to you… they’ll like that. A lot.
Some idiots decided that Paris Hilton deserved a legit award other than her high school’s superlative “Most likely to get an STD by the age of 21,” (she accomplished it!). The Fragrance Foundation has named her Celebrity of the year.
I’m guessing that this is because out of all of the celebs with perfume, she’s managed to sell the most? Are there really that many people walking around smelling like French hooker? I mean, Paris…
Kim Kardashian twittered that she dyed her hair blonde, and then walked around NYC all weekend with her new hair before “letting people in on the joke” that she had been wearing a wig.
Wow, that is an amazing prank. I guess it’s the kind that fake celebrities play, because they have nothing better to do, and the novelty of their sex tape has worn off.
Finally, a “reliable source” (okay, it was me,) told Ryan Seacrest that Britney is preggers again. I’m willing to bet pictures of my right nipple that the culprit behind this one is K-Fed and his mutant sperm again. Let’s all just hope this isn’t true, I’m not even sure that Brit knows where her other two kids are. For all we know, she might’ve eaten them by now.
That’ll do it for me. It’s been a fun two years. Tell you what, I’ll put my number on your mirror in lipstick, and you can just leave the money on the bedside table.
Seriously, though, keep in touch through my celeb blog, www.betsyskotchblogs.blogspot.com. I’ll be seeing you, dolls.
And, by the way, your tits are stupendous ;)
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