If it shimers, it's Tinseltown

So, I’m scrolling through this week’s gossip, paging through the pages of this week’s tabloids, and
suddenly it dawns on me. Jennifer Aniston is still talking about her rivalry with Angelina Jolie, and her breakup with Brad Pitt. FOUR. YEARS. LATER.
Seriously, I’m about to break out the Betsy Skotch advice once again. If your best friend is still talking about the one that got away four years later, take her over to a Lehigh frat house or something, because, really, this has gone on for far too long.
Jennifer, darling. Get over it. Brad’s got Santa Angelina now. You have about the appeal of a dead puppy right now. It’s time to cut it out because really, your public can’t take it anymore.
In case you were wondering where the Kardashian sisters were vacationing recently, as I’m sure you all were since I personally was dying to know, they spent last weekend in Miami in bikinis by the pool.
Is Keeping up with the Kardashian’s even on E! anymore? Because, I’ve recently been feeling pretty out of the loop with what exactly has been going on with the Kardashian clan. I mean, have they been hanging out at Joe Francis’s mansion? Has anyone else broken a cell phone by throwing it at a family member as if late?
I’m just feeling like the Kardashian’s aren’t getting the attention that they deserve recently, and I know that you agree with me. E! should be advertising more or something.
Time for an update on one of the best fallen stars: Lindsay Lohan is apparently converting to Judaism to prove her love for Samantha Ronson. Apparently, before this, Lindsay has dabbled in scientology and kabbalah, but religion IS the hottest trend in Hollywood, so I completely support this. I mean, people change their religions all the time for those they love. And, Lindsay and Sam have been together for way over a year now, so this is totally legit. I approve.
And, in a final train of thought to make your head explode, I’ll just leave you with the words of Pete Wentz to let you sort out on your own. Take them for what they’re worth.
According to the Daily Mail, “I refuse to answer my front door because I'm convinced someone is going to murder me. I used to think that some day I'd end up murdering a close friend or relative. Now it's reversed and I'm convinced it's going to happen to me.” Yeah, okay psycho- boy.